I haven’t posted anything in while. Most of that is due to a broken computer. I hate doing anything other than social media, phone calls, and texting on my phone. I have a tablet but it is actually an outdated Nook. Needless to say I was in a bad way for my computer for a few months, but Hubby got her back up and running.
The other thing I’m sorry to report is more loss of loved ones. I was actually checking social media back in November when I saw a post on a closed group about a friend of mine, Debbie. I couldn’t believe it. It said she had passed due to a stroke or heart attack. I mean she had just posted a beautiful Colorado sunset only days ago on Facebook. I also remember talking to her before the Summer came. I asked if she wanted to visit us. I thought we could go to a Royal’s game or something. It was never mentioned again. I guess maybe she saw on Facebook that we were having a tough Summer. I totally forgot my invitation with all that happened here. I wished I hadn’t forgotten. It would have been nice to see her again. She was only 61 years old.
December wasn’t any kinder to us. My grandmother who had been a in bad way for a while passed away two days before Christmas. I thought of my Mom and how tough it was just spending the first Christmas without Dad, but to also lose her mother was just unimaginable to me. My heart ached. I thought how hard it was on all of us for Mammaw to go so close to Christmas and then I felt selfish. It wasn’t about us. It was about her and she wasn’t in pain anymore.
My Mom held off the funeral for a few days. We celebrated Christmas at home and then immediately headed for my Mom’s town. My son started to get sick and have a fever. The funeral was difficult enough, but with a sick little one it was that much more of a challenge. We powered through it. I was so proud of Mom. I think she did well, but who knows how she feels when we are not there. I know I tend to cry a lot when I’m alone. That is when I allow myself to think and feel things about all this. It feels safe to do it alone. It doesn’t feel like I’m bothering anybody. Then again something can trigger a thought that makes me sad. Then I just have to excuse myself to go some place else and cry.
Keeping ourselves busy helps to deal with it all. Not that we weren’t already busy. We signed up for some more races. One we have already done and others are quickly approaching. Some we planned to do, but got canceled. We were very disappointed. I’ll do some more about the running later. I will let you know that we have the yuck right now and our training is nonexistent.